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There is so much to be thankful for that I wanted to get a jump start on it this year.
I am so thankful for my husband. Paul and I are cooking our first Thanksgiving Day meal together this year. I cooked a turkey a few years ago and it just sucked, and Paul has never cooked one. This should be interesting! We're going to brine it and do it the Alton Brown/Good Eats/Food TV guy way, so if it's good, we'll take credit; if it's bad, we'll tell everyone that Alton sucks ;-)
Not only are we doing the turkey, we're making twice baked butternut squash/potatoes, a stuffing that's done in the crockpot, non-dairy green bean casserole, and we are smart enough to buy rolls from the best bread place (Great Harvest Bread Company - I think it's a national chain?), and Costco cranberry sauce. Thasalotta food for five people! Ooops - and I can't forget the two desserts my mom is bringing - a cranberry meringue pie and something apple-y and cobbler-y. Yum. I won't need the tryptophan to be tired after this meal.
The take-away here: I am so grateful to experience new (maybe even good tasting?!) things with Paul. Having someone to share the good and bad things with, the ups and downs with, makes life so much sweeter. I am thankful everyday that we found each other.
I am so thankful for my family and friends. I hate to lump everyone together in one category because there are definitely specific things I can speak to about most. Maybe I'll try to conquer this broad group of people over the next couple of days.
I am also so thankful for T and her family. I've known the entire journey that surrogacy is something that affects more than just the surrogate, but the events of this past weekend leave me feeling even more grateful for the comfort and encouragement she gets from her support system. It must be so scary to see your wife/friend/mom in the hospital and it just makes me think about how much they endure in a journey's lifecycle. For all of this, I am thankful.
My puppies bring me more joy and more frustration than anything else in my life. I have created needy little monsters! Actually, I lump the two of them together, but honestly Starr baby is the best dog ever. I would clone her in a heartbeat. But that little Coco is a troublemaker, messmaker, and stress-causer. I can't complain about when they snuggle, or take naps though.
I am thankful that even though they cause a bit of frustration, they bring so much joy to my life!
The update in a nutshell:
T went from the Emergency Room to Labor and Delivery last night so they could monitor the baby. Everything seemed to be fine with both of them, although T has some muscle aches today from shivering so much at the onset of all of this.
She is now out of the hospital and feeling ok. Her job today is to relax and supervise her husband while he helps a friend move and get set up in the friend's new apartment.
THANK GOD!! We were so worried about her and Caleb.
If I look at this situation as a training exercize, I completely failed. When I learned she was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, I froze. Literally froze. Paul said he had a million scenarios running through his head. I had none. I just sat there completely still with tears forming in my eyes, but no instincts took over.
I look back at how my mom and dad handled emergencies when I was a kid. The one that specifically comes to mind is when I broke my wrist. My mom took me to the hospital and between the doctors and my dad (who met us there), they had everything under control. I don't remember anything but my mom being as solid as a rock. The story I rememeber from after the fact is that she lost it AFTER everything was under control, but I don't remember that/maybe didn't see that. She made sure I was taken care of before her fear showed through. That's exactly the way I want to be. Maybe it just takes practice. I was thinking that maybe it comes with being a parent, but I know parents who freak out in front of their kids so that theory is blown to hell!
I cannot write something clever, witty or entertaining right now. I can only assure you that this was the scariest moment to date.
T's husband called tonight around 8 p.m. and said T was en route to the hospital via ambulance. At that moment, he just said she'd had a big drop in temperature and that he'd call with more information as they knew more. On another call about 45 minutes later he said they'd arrived at the hospital, her temp in the ambulance was recorded at 94 degrees, her temp in the ER was 101, that her hands and feet were freezing while out at dinner yet her head was super hot, and that she didn't have any abdominal cramping. A text message a bit later said she was on her way up to labor and delivery for monitoring.
We don't know anything more right now and we are so scared... praying that T and little Caleb Ian are ok. This was supposed to be a good day. We finally did the baby registry after so much hemming and hawing. Did we jinx something by showing our happiness outwardly? It's nearly 1 a.m. and I am spinning in circles. My hands are shaking as I type this. I am so scared right now and my eyes and head are both tired from crying.
"Hello! We're having a baby, please give us gifts."
Since I myself am not pregnant, I believe I can safely say this is the most uncomfortable part of the whole experience to date. It brings back PTSD memories of why I didn't want to tell people we were getting married because I didn't want a bridal shower. The attention placed upon the person of honor at these types of events is unnerving to me. Thankfully, my dear friends have put my mind to ease and told me a baby shower will have absolutely nothing to do with me. {sighhhhhhhhh} Unlike a bridal shower, where of course the bride is the center of attention, this one is about a little dude who has yet to make an appearance. There were many, many weeks in between oh.hell.no and ugh.i.don't.know and this.will.be.fun!
There is a lot to celebrate - plenty to be thankful for.
Nothing much to say, other than we've confirmed for the second time he's a boy and there's only one baby in there! (My friends Cindi and Phil and the people who know their story are probably snickering right now...)
Here he is:
Most people who do 3D ultrasounds don't do them until 30+ weeks, but since T was in SoCal, we decided to do one last Friday - just 2 days shy of 26 weeks. He is just starting to fill out but he's already got some pinchable cheeks and 2" feet :)
This whole baby naming thing is serious business! I mean, we're basically setting the stage for a lifetime. We didn't want it to be a here-today-gone-tomorrow moniker, didn't want it to sound like a name of yesteryear, but also didn't want it to be a top 10 everyone-has-it kind of name. Still on the "didn't want" list... something too juvenile or silly for an adult male.
I'll shorten the wait... this l'il guy will be named:
Caleb Ian
Here are the facts:
Caleb - Arabic origin meaning bold, brave
Ian - Irish origin meaning "God's gracious gift"
Iterations we seriously considered included Ian Kenneth (my grandpa and Paul's foster grandpa was/is Kenneth), Caleb Kenneth and Caleb Bryce.
If Caleb were a girl, his name would have been Lila Colbie. Incidentally, I had Lilah picked out for a girl's name years ago, and Paul's grandma's name is Lila (no "h" at the end)... so that was a no-brainer for us.
We were pretty sure Ian would be mispronounced by too many as "Eye-An" - and after a life of "Joan" instead of "Jo-Ann" for me, I don't want my kid to have to correct people so often. (Side rant: nobody else in my family has that problem! Who mispronounces Jay, Judy, Karen, or Daniel??!)
It was also thought that Ian would certainly become "peein' Ian" at some point on the playground, so we tried to stay away from that. On the other hand, Caleb could become "Gay-leb", but with all the popular Aiden ("Gay-den") and Kaiden (again, "Gay-den") names right now, maybe that'll just be too common to be funny.
We've yelled it several times in the house to make sure it flows when he's in trouble. Sounds good when we're fake mad!
Finally, if you say his first and middle name scrunched together, it sounds like a drunk person saying Caribbean. Try it :)
I really don't like that whole "things happen for a reason" saying. Yes, yes, yes, it's all part of a bigger plan that I am too pea-minded to understand and too much a simpleton to possibly grasp.
"It was [or wasn't] meant to be." Profound. Not.
To people who say "just relax": please provide your script to me for the Xanax, Percocet or Valium you're taking. When you take the good stuff, you must share.
Alas, I've actually heard these exact and most annoying phrases leaping from my own mouth. I try to push the words back in as I realize they're making their debut... but my foot follows too slowly. I hate that!
