I know, right? What's going on you ask? Nothing. No major or frequent contractions like the other night. Just another centimeter or so of dilation to bring it to 3-plus-ish. We do want him to be born when he's ready, but with every passing day I have more and more concerns. Like how he and T will both do with him being so big. Like how the chance of having a c-section grows. Like how Paul has only two weeks off work and he only has one left. And since this is my blog and I can be completely honest, like how much debt we're accumulating each day we're not home. Obviously worth it in the end (that's a no-brainer) but it's not all sunshine and roses. I can feel a bit of fear, frustration and desperation creeping in.
My chin is up, my smile is on. I know the wait will soon be over.
Apologies for misspellings. It's not easy doing this update from my phone.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A Quick Post Before the BIG Post
Ok a quick catch up... Paul got here on Saturday the 12th. I picked him up from the airport (so happy to see him!), and by the time we went to get something to eat on the way back to Red Bluff, he didn't feel too well. We got on the freeway, and immediately got off and he opened the door and no sooner puked on the side of the offramp. DAMN! I'll keep it brief and say it was not pretty. About an hour later, he did it again. We got to Red Bluff, got a hotel room, and I left him there to (hopefully) sleep it off while I went to T's for dinner with her and her family. I know it sounds mean to leave him when he's not feeling well, but (1) he's good at taking care of himself and (2) we didn't want me or T to get sick if it was contagious. (side note: face masks are cool!) He felt a bit better on Sunday and completely better by Monday.
On Monday night, we went over to T's for some chili and cornbread (yummy rainy day food) and just hung out for a while. She was having "non-contractions" as she put it but nothing that screamed "it's time!" so we went back to our hotel. We were there for a matter of minutes when her husband called and after some back and forth between him and the hospital, we thought it was best if we just went there. We got there some time after 10 p.m. where they stuck her in maternity triage and monitored her and the baby for a while. She was dialted to only 1.5 cm so we all walked around for a 1/2 hour and they checked her again. This time she was just over 2 cm but no other changes... so we walked for an hour. At 2 am, there weren't really any changes but they kept monitoring her. You could see the contractions on the contraction-o-meter :) but Caleb's heartrate was unchanged each time. He was just cruising through... no hurries for him, obviously! Although the contractions were only 2 minutes apart, with no other changes they sent us home about 4:30 a.m. By the time we dropped her off at home, we got back to the hotel around 5:30 or 6 a.m. (can't really remember - REALLLLLY tired).
Tuesday (yesterday) we met T and her husband at Costco and walked around in there, then went over to the mall and walked around there too. She was still having contractions now and again, but they had certainly slowed from the night before.
Today... we all get to go to the OB at 10 a.m. today. Paul hasn't been yet so I'm excited for that, and I'm also excited to see if there is any progress. Perhaps there will be a good reason to update later today?????? We all hope so!!
On Monday night, we went over to T's for some chili and cornbread (yummy rainy day food) and just hung out for a while. She was having "non-contractions" as she put it but nothing that screamed "it's time!" so we went back to our hotel. We were there for a matter of minutes when her husband called and after some back and forth between him and the hospital, we thought it was best if we just went there. We got there some time after 10 p.m. where they stuck her in maternity triage and monitored her and the baby for a while. She was dialted to only 1.5 cm so we all walked around for a 1/2 hour and they checked her again. This time she was just over 2 cm but no other changes... so we walked for an hour. At 2 am, there weren't really any changes but they kept monitoring her. You could see the contractions on the contraction-o-meter :) but Caleb's heartrate was unchanged each time. He was just cruising through... no hurries for him, obviously! Although the contractions were only 2 minutes apart, with no other changes they sent us home about 4:30 a.m. By the time we dropped her off at home, we got back to the hotel around 5:30 or 6 a.m. (can't really remember - REALLLLLY tired).
Tuesday (yesterday) we met T and her husband at Costco and walked around in there, then went over to the mall and walked around there too. She was still having contractions now and again, but they had certainly slowed from the night before.
Today... we all get to go to the OB at 10 a.m. today. Paul hasn't been yet so I'm excited for that, and I'm also excited to see if there is any progress. Perhaps there will be a good reason to update later today?????? We all hope so!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Rethinking Inconveniences
Yesterday I wrote about the minor (very, very, mind you) inconveniences of living in a trailer for a week or two... not a lot of space and lack of wi-fi in the trailer. I'm happy to report that I am, at this very moment, inside the trailer and connected via wi-fi. I wouldn't depend on this for work since the signal seems to come and go, but for updating the blog? Perfect!
I've also rethought (is that a word?) about the inconveniences of a trailer and realize this isn't an inconvenience at all. Yes, space is tight - but I thought about an alternative:
Paul and I were, at one point, considering pursuing surrogacy in India. Without debating all pros and cons at this point, I'd like to say that I still believe Indian surrogacy is a viable alternative for many people. It's obviously not the road we chose, but I strongly believe that having that option is, quite simply, a good thing. Now, had we chosen to go to India, I know that the "inconveniences" I've experienced on this trip thus far would be nothing... over there, I would be limited to whatever I could cram in a few suitcases. Up here, I followed my mom and Bill with their trailer in my SUV and have it stuffed from top to bottom, front to back. I have all the conveniences of home (home cooked meals, if I choose; television with cable; laptops - yes plural - with internet access; a car I can use at any time, for any reason) and am in a state where surrogacy is well-established and our rights are guaranteed. I can't even imagine all of the "inconveniences" we'd experience in India.
I'll shut my trap now :)
I've also rethought (is that a word?) about the inconveniences of a trailer and realize this isn't an inconvenience at all. Yes, space is tight - but I thought about an alternative:
Paul and I were, at one point, considering pursuing surrogacy in India. Without debating all pros and cons at this point, I'd like to say that I still believe Indian surrogacy is a viable alternative for many people. It's obviously not the road we chose, but I strongly believe that having that option is, quite simply, a good thing. Now, had we chosen to go to India, I know that the "inconveniences" I've experienced on this trip thus far would be nothing... over there, I would be limited to whatever I could cram in a few suitcases. Up here, I followed my mom and Bill with their trailer in my SUV and have it stuffed from top to bottom, front to back. I have all the conveniences of home (home cooked meals, if I choose; television with cable; laptops - yes plural - with internet access; a car I can use at any time, for any reason) and am in a state where surrogacy is well-established and our rights are guaranteed. I can't even imagine all of the "inconveniences" we'd experience in India.
I'll shut my trap now :)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Waiting Game for a Wi-fi Junkie
I'm in Northern California waiting and waiting and waiting for Caleb to make his debut. To be more specific, I'm "living" in a fifth wheel trailer with my mom and stepdad, waiting for Caleb to make his debut. The plan is for Paul to come up next Saturday and join the waiting game if something doesn't happen sooner and at that point, we'll get a hotel room.
I don't want to sound ungrateful when in fact I'm really, really thankful that my mom and Bill have come up here with me and graciously brought this little home on wheels for us to call home base for a week - or two. BUT (you had to see that one coming, right??) - it's small for three people. Each night I convert the dining area into my bed, and each morning I convert it back to an eating/seating area and stow my bedding up on their bed. I carefully tuck my shoes, computers, phones, chargers, and misc stuff in little places here and there making sure none of it intrudes in their living space. I'm really trying to be a considerate guest. The other BUT is that the wi-fi in this RV park doesn't work in the trailer! I am working up until Caleb's born and had this neat picture (in my head, of course) of working up here in the comfort of the trailer at the table. Wrong. And me looking for wi-fi is like a junkie trying to find the next hit. So far, I've worked from a picnic table outside in the sunlight - making it incredibly difficult to see the screen, the laundry room (it's near the park's office and since it's inside the mosquitoes can't get me), the women's bathroom (also near the office, praying that someone wouldn't come in and think I was totally nuts - and thankfully no one came in), Starbucks, and McDonald's. And I only worked part day on Thursday and all day Friday - can't wait to see the new places I'll have to find this week! Eh... small inconveniences in the scheme of things.
On the Caleb front, I went with T to the OB appointment on Thursday and the report wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear: no dilation. As in NADA, ZERO. ZILCH. No action. Same as the week before. The next appointment is this Thursday morning. That will be 3-4 days pre-due date and hopefully it'll be a totally different story at that point!
I don't want to sound ungrateful when in fact I'm really, really thankful that my mom and Bill have come up here with me and graciously brought this little home on wheels for us to call home base for a week - or two. BUT (you had to see that one coming, right??) - it's small for three people. Each night I convert the dining area into my bed, and each morning I convert it back to an eating/seating area and stow my bedding up on their bed. I carefully tuck my shoes, computers, phones, chargers, and misc stuff in little places here and there making sure none of it intrudes in their living space. I'm really trying to be a considerate guest. The other BUT is that the wi-fi in this RV park doesn't work in the trailer! I am working up until Caleb's born and had this neat picture (in my head, of course) of working up here in the comfort of the trailer at the table. Wrong. And me looking for wi-fi is like a junkie trying to find the next hit. So far, I've worked from a picnic table outside in the sunlight - making it incredibly difficult to see the screen, the laundry room (it's near the park's office and since it's inside the mosquitoes can't get me), the women's bathroom (also near the office, praying that someone wouldn't come in and think I was totally nuts - and thankfully no one came in), Starbucks, and McDonald's. And I only worked part day on Thursday and all day Friday - can't wait to see the new places I'll have to find this week! Eh... small inconveniences in the scheme of things.
On the Caleb front, I went with T to the OB appointment on Thursday and the report wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear: no dilation. As in NADA, ZERO. ZILCH. No action. Same as the week before. The next appointment is this Thursday morning. That will be 3-4 days pre-due date and hopefully it'll be a totally different story at that point!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Finished the Room... Kind Of
I say "kind of" because it's not exactly done until the queen sized bed comes out and we can space the furniture out more, but here are the final-for-now pics:
As soon as he's able to reach the leaves and grab the 'stems' we'll move the furniture around. We also have to remove all of the stuffed animals but, for now, they are living comfortably in and around the crib. This is what Caleb will come home to:
I'm feeling pretty good about what we've accomplished so far and grateful for my mom's help in making it look so good! :)
As soon as he's able to reach the leaves and grab the 'stems' we'll move the furniture around. We also have to remove all of the stuffed animals but, for now, they are living comfortably in and around the crib. This is what Caleb will come home to:
The little touches really made the room come together. The valance and the crib skirt are made out of the same fabric; the little cutouts on the valance match another fabric that will be used in a quilt creation TBD by my mom, aka Nana:
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Shower to Remember
The best group of family/friends in the WORLD threw a baby shower I will never forget. And to be clear, this was not for me. It was for Caleb. He is the luckiest little guy in the whole world because there are so many people just waiting for his arrival and showering him with a bazillion gifts already, at negative ~4 weeks. He hasn't made his debut and already has somewhat of a fan club.
Much like the last post, I'm going to let the pictures do the majority of the 'talking' here. The shower was at My Other Mother's home. My Other Mother is my best friend Renee's mom and to keep the story short, she has been a second mom to me. Not because my own mom doesn't rock the socks off motherhood, but because I spent lots of time at their house - especially high school years - and because this family is truly my second family. So... I get to her house and see Connor arranging balloons, Renee (Chief Shower Officer) and Sacha and Other Mother arranging the food and Ginger making a fruit salad. It was like Santa's Workshop in January. After a couple minutes of BSing (my forte), I rounded the corner to the living room and this is what I saw:
It was so beautiful and festive... colorful without the pastel blues and yellows that I see in my head when someone mentions a baby shower. It was vibrant but not overdone. It was PERFECTLY DONE! Connor did the flowers and balloons, inside and out, and they were gorgeous!
I saw the frog in the middle of the table and didn't realize he cleverly used the Boon Frog Pod (toy scoop and storage for the bathtub) as the main centerpiece. It was so cute!!!!
The guests seemed to really enjoy the day. I got a few 'thank yous' for not having silly shower games. I have to say... I requested no games, but wasn't the host so I'll just say: "thank you!" to the powers-that-be for making it a low-key but wonderful event. I took pictures of the guests but didn't ask permission to post them here so I will keep them to myself as my personal memory :)
The presents seemed never-ending and when I got home, I put it out so Paul could see everything. We looked through some gifts that night and other stuff in the morning:
And clothes? This kid will have plenty to wear since he got tons of super cute clothes on Saturday and, well, I might have done a little shopping before the shower (not posting pics because (a) they weren't shower gifts and that's what this post is about, and (b) I don't want to put them all in the same space because this way I can stay in denial about how much we/I bought):
And finally, blankets, etc. Right now we have 10 flannel blankets, 2 not flannel but warm and fuzzy blankets, a blanket knitted by Grandma Barbara, a colorful safari quilt from Nana, and a flannel quilt, quilted by Nana. I have a feeling I've forgotten some blankets that are tucked away in a closet somewhere so maybe that's not even the whole lot of them. Kid'll be roasty toasty for sure.
As people left the shower, they were treated to yummy sugar cookies in the shapes of a baby carriage, rattle or bear - decorated in blue. These were gourmet all the way. I may have had more than one. May have. My cousin Alex not only got the cookies, she also did the shower invitations and I am so happy she helped to make my day so perfect. I didn't get a picture of the cookies (allllll gone!) but here is the edited-for-privacy version of the invitation (loved it!):
We are so blessed to be given such a hearty start at parenthood. All of the gifts are so appreciated and will be used for sure. I am genuinely touched that so many people came to share the day with me - for Caleb - and it was, 100%, my family and my friends who made it such a happy day to remember.
A special, sincere thank you to Vera, Renee, Sacha, Ginger, Connor and Alex. You did such an amazing job - I can't say it enough - thank you so very much!
Much like the last post, I'm going to let the pictures do the majority of the 'talking' here. The shower was at My Other Mother's home. My Other Mother is my best friend Renee's mom and to keep the story short, she has been a second mom to me. Not because my own mom doesn't rock the socks off motherhood, but because I spent lots of time at their house - especially high school years - and because this family is truly my second family. So... I get to her house and see Connor arranging balloons, Renee (Chief Shower Officer) and Sacha and Other Mother arranging the food and Ginger making a fruit salad. It was like Santa's Workshop in January. After a couple minutes of BSing (my forte), I rounded the corner to the living room and this is what I saw:
I saw the frog in the middle of the table and didn't realize he cleverly used the Boon Frog Pod (toy scoop and storage for the bathtub) as the main centerpiece. It was so cute!!!!
The guests seemed to really enjoy the day. I got a few 'thank yous' for not having silly shower games. I have to say... I requested no games, but wasn't the host so I'll just say: "thank you!" to the powers-that-be for making it a low-key but wonderful event. I took pictures of the guests but didn't ask permission to post them here so I will keep them to myself as my personal memory :)
The presents seemed never-ending and when I got home, I put it out so Paul could see everything. We looked through some gifts that night and other stuff in the morning:
 |
| I'm too lazy to go out and take a picture of the real thing in the garage, so here's the photo from BRU. I'm pretty sure the baby doesn't come with it, although we have yet to open the box. |
 |
| We got two diaper cakes (I wasn't smart enough to take a solo pic of the other one, but it's in one of the pics above). These are so very cool... not only are they cute, but oh-so functional. We didn't have any diapers before the shower and now we have lots! :) |
 |
| My mom gave this to me. It looked familiar but I was somewhat confused. It is the plate/bowl/cup I used as a kid. I still don't believe she let me eat out of it because it's very breakable yet there are no chips. I am a klutz. I don't see how this is possible. |
And clothes? This kid will have plenty to wear since he got tons of super cute clothes on Saturday and, well, I might have done a little shopping before the shower (not posting pics because (a) they weren't shower gifts and that's what this post is about, and (b) I don't want to put them all in the same space because this way I can stay in denial about how much we/I bought):
And finally, blankets, etc. Right now we have 10 flannel blankets, 2 not flannel but warm and fuzzy blankets, a blanket knitted by Grandma Barbara, a colorful safari quilt from Nana, and a flannel quilt, quilted by Nana. I have a feeling I've forgotten some blankets that are tucked away in a closet somewhere so maybe that's not even the whole lot of them. Kid'll be roasty toasty for sure.
We are so blessed to be given such a hearty start at parenthood. All of the gifts are so appreciated and will be used for sure. I am genuinely touched that so many people came to share the day with me - for Caleb - and it was, 100%, my family and my friends who made it such a happy day to remember.
A special, sincere thank you to Vera, Renee, Sacha, Ginger, Connor and Alex. You did such an amazing job - I can't say it enough - thank you so very much!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
A Little Trip Inside My Head
My head is spinning. We're getting closer. 32 days 'til due date to be exact. I have tons to do at work (hence the 15 minute timer I've set for getting this written and posted). I have more to do at home. I feel very much like Doug ("Squirrel!") right now and sometimes find myself sitting idly while my brain races like crazy. Fasten your seatbelts, here we go:
#1: Happy New Year! This is going to be the best one yet!
#2: Picture time! T posted this picture on facebook last week so I asked for permission to post it here:
And then I altered it:
in case you needed a diagram as to who is who and who is where :)
#3: More pictures! (Well, picture.) T made this for us as a gift and I can't wait to see it in person next month:
We already know where it will hang and don't even have our grubby little hands on it yet!
#4: We met with a pediatrician last week and agree that she fit the criteria we were looking for. She seemed very nice and low key, and also took as much time with us as needed, which we both appreciated. She was open to both Eastern practices and remedies and was ok finding the balance between "let it heal" and "throw antibiotics at it." Her philosophies and ours meshed well. The office itself left lots to be desired, but eh. Not the most important of things on our list. We still have a couple we can check out, but honestly it's not happening before we leave for Nor Cal so I'm glad we liked the first one! We can always change down the road if need be.
#5: I am not hungry but am chowing down on popcorn. As in second bag today. Stress much?
#6: I'm not loving California - or maybe it's my employer - quite as much as a couple of posts ago. After talking to our Leave of Absence area and the state's EDD department (the people who administer the CA Paid Family Leave program) it seems that I have to take ALL of my PTO before receiving benefits. So, I will get to partake in the program, but since I'm taking my leave in two chunks I won't get that until the last 6 weeks of my leave. I have LOTS of PTO I saved up for the occasion being the responsible person I am. Whatever!!
#7: Mom started sewing baby blankets and the valance already. By next week it'll be the bumper and/or crib skirt. Exciting to see that stuff come together!
Time's up. Must get back to work so I'm not up all night.
#1: Happy New Year! This is going to be the best one yet!
#2: Picture time! T posted this picture on facebook last week so I asked for permission to post it here:
And then I altered it:
in case you needed a diagram as to who is who and who is where :)
#3: More pictures! (Well, picture.) T made this for us as a gift and I can't wait to see it in person next month:
We already know where it will hang and don't even have our grubby little hands on it yet!
#4: We met with a pediatrician last week and agree that she fit the criteria we were looking for. She seemed very nice and low key, and also took as much time with us as needed, which we both appreciated. She was open to both Eastern practices and remedies and was ok finding the balance between "let it heal" and "throw antibiotics at it." Her philosophies and ours meshed well. The office itself left lots to be desired, but eh. Not the most important of things on our list. We still have a couple we can check out, but honestly it's not happening before we leave for Nor Cal so I'm glad we liked the first one! We can always change down the road if need be.
#5: I am not hungry but am chowing down on popcorn. As in second bag today. Stress much?
#6: I'm not loving California - or maybe it's my employer - quite as much as a couple of posts ago. After talking to our Leave of Absence area and the state's EDD department (the people who administer the CA Paid Family Leave program) it seems that I have to take ALL of my PTO before receiving benefits. So, I will get to partake in the program, but since I'm taking my leave in two chunks I won't get that until the last 6 weeks of my leave. I have LOTS of PTO I saved up for the occasion being the responsible person I am. Whatever!!
#7: Mom started sewing baby blankets and the valance already. By next week it'll be the bumper and/or crib skirt. Exciting to see that stuff come together!
Time's up. Must get back to work so I'm not up all night.
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