I found out last night that the absolutely funniest blogger I've ever read experienced a loss and it hit me profoundly. Personally. Indulge me in the CliffsNotes version, if you will:
Jen writes a blog about her own infertility experiences and parenting. It's not a funny subject, but her sense of humor overwhelms and takes you on the journey with her. Her language is R-rated (probably why I love her so much); her twist on the English language is hilarious.
She and her husband have an almost-2-year old little girl and her latest pregnancy? Twins! Girls! ... with a condition that made one baby larger than the other - something to do with blood supply although not thought to be Twin to Twin Transfusion syndrome. Jen affectionately called the larger baby "Hog Baby" and the other "Itty Bitty Baby."
Anyway... they delivered the girls last night at 32 weeks via c-section. Their names: Ainsley (Itty Bitty) and Evelyn (Hog Baby). It seems while the worries were mostly about Ainsley being big enough to survive, Evelyn, Hog Baby, had issues and became an angel last night. She didn't make it. And I'm just heartbroken for them at what should be the most joyous of occasions.
This, as with any loss I hear about lately, escalates my existing-yet-suppressed doubts and fears. No, it's not all about me, but I can't help but feel this "what if" kind of sharp pain. It stabs me in the chest then stomps on my brain for days. My heart aches for Jen and her family.
Jen's blog is at www.jennepper.com and is called "Maybe If You Just Relax."
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