We've just exited an overwhelming and exhausting couple of weeks. The ups and downs, the range of emotions, the energy expended... too much. There was a lot of excitement and stress at the beginning of December. Paul was nearing the end of school and had a few research papers due. It totally stressed me out... might as well have been me doing them! Then I adopted his cold, but what was a fairly normal cold for him turned into icky bronchitis for me. And it hurt. Like really, really hurt. Typically when I get it (sad that I can say 'typically'), I sound awful but it's not painful. This time, I could actually feel that my lung capacity was not what it should be and it completely compressed my chest with each breath and seal-like cough. But the sad kicker in the last couple of weeks is that Paul's dad died on Friday, December 10th, the same day Paul completed his Bachelor's degree in Urban Planning with an emphasis in Environmental Planning and Sustainability. The very same day.
Paul and his dad did not have a close relationship, but there is something about this event that may be even sadder than the actual passing of this man. The dream - the thought - that someday perhaps they could have a decent relationship (or any relationship) completely died with his father. The extended dream that our child could know another one of his grandparents also died that day. Truly tragic.
I am anxiously awaiting 2011. Let's fast forward to the end of this year and be done with it!
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Im so sorry hun!! We had another close family member pass in the last week.. it has been very difficult. Lets hope 2011 is a fantastic year! xo
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